whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
