Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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