a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
