so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
