I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
