That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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