i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
