Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
