I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i dont even know how to be here
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We left the knife in your bed.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
