True but thats because hes a fetus.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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