I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
