he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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