Cold hands, warm shart.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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