I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
