She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
