Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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