I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
