You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
