the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
