well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
