Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
