The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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