It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
