this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ttyl tear gas
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
