how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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