How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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