thus making me awesome and them whores
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
