Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I see more hoeing in ur future
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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