I'm lost and stupid without you.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
