Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize