Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
