She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
