I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
