i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
