Pregnant stripper...not hot.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize