I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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