Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize