This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize