If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
