Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I could fuck to npr.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
