so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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