Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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