Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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