the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
