Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
