A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
