jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
