How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
