There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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