the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
