the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
