What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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