yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
