does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
