I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
