Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
