I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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