So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
