I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
