the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize