Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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