so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
