I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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