Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
